The moment I knew I was becoming my own best friend

“Idiot!” I exclaimed aloud, half-jokingly, when I absentmindedly touched the sides of an empty pot that I’d just boiled water in.

Then I quickly said to myself, “I don’t mean it about you personally. It’s just the absurdity of how quickly I’d forgotten.”

For a second I felt silly reassuring myself that I’d meant no offense by my own remark.

But I also realized that I would’ve worried in the exact same way if I’d said that to someone I was trying to be good friends with.

I would’ve worried that she might’ve laughed it off in the moment, but that she subconsciously could’ve felt slightly hurt by it.

I would’ve cared about her feelings… I wouldn’t want her to misinterpret my intentions and for her to think that I was a mean person.

I would’ve wanted to make sure that she and I were still good with each other.

And that’s the moment when I realized — wow, truly AM having a better relationship with myself.

It wasn’t about being full of self-love and positive thoughts.

It wasn’t about being perfectly peaceful and happy with myself.

It was me actually caring about myself like I would another human being.

It was me making an effort to over-communicate to myself, to actually show myself that I value this relationship….and I CARE about how I feel.

And the craziest thing was that after reassuring myself that I wasn’t directly calling myself an idiot, I perceived a tiny feeling of relief and appreciation deep inside.

I hadn’t expect myself to feel anything. Because… I’m literally me.

But there it was — me feeling closer to myself because I actually showed I cared.

It was nuts.

After years of neglecting and being skeptical about the importance of my own self-relationship, this moment felt surreal, ridiculous, and triumphant all at once.

Something really is shifting within me, I thought. This is a big change.

And from then on, things just got wilder.

The more I humored myself by treating myself like a person that I really wanted to win over, proof myself as a good friend, and impress myself by my own thoughtfulness… the less desperate, anxious, and needy I felt towards all my other relationships.

I stopped “uncontrollably” monitoring everything my boyfriend was feeling and doing, and needing him to constantly reassure me.

I stopped “helplessly” living to please and prove to others that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

I stopped “inexplicably” changing my personality and interests around whomever I happened to be around.

I stopped seeking all my love and validation outside myself because I stopped abandoning my own relationship with myself.

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Just like how couples can get professional help to improve their relationship, you can do the same to improve your relationship with yourself.

When you’re good with yourself, you show up so much better for your life and all other relationships.

Come book a session with me.