My Self-love Transformation
I was told that I’m
“over-emotional”, “crazy”, “too attached”, and that I “need to get some hobbies”.
Here's some of my least proudest moments (in multiple relationships):
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Throwing inexplicable tantrums (and bags of take-out food) because I was constantly looking for signs that he didn’t love me.
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Crawling back when he was cheating and being abusive because I felt like I couldn’t live without him.
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Holding in my emotions until I’d explode and behave in ways I’d regret.
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Losing my entire personality in the name of being the nicest girlfriend ever — and then being left because I was “boring”.
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Immediately looking for a rebound and ignoring red flags because I needed to not be alone.
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Being in a healthy relationship and sabotaging it because I’m expecting something bad to happen.
It didn’t matter who I was with or how much love they showed me — I always ended up feeling hopeless & out of control.
Despite doing all the good responsible things on the outside … I didn’t know how to feel good on my own, on the inside.
Finally I had to admit: I didn’t have self-love.
And if I didn’t change, nothing was going to change.
So I followed self-love influencers, practiced positive affirmations, read self-help books, spent more quality time alone, journaled, meditated on self-compassion, bought myself nice things, did self-care and hobbies…
…but nothing permanently changed how I felt.
I thought there must be too much wrong with me to have self-love.
So I was self-conscious to the point of anxiety, suspicious of everything he did, upset and resentful without really knowing why, and convinced he was looking for something better.
And I almost ruined a good relationship.
Now 10 years later, I’m now a completely different version of myself.
I am kind and loving without feeling the need to over-please.
I am calm and secure without ever becoming a doormat.
I feel attractive and happy with who I am, without needing his validation to feel that way.
And I’m showing up so much more present, happy, healthy and in control... in all areas of my life.
Because I now have a self-love identity.
And now it’s my mission and passion to help other good-hearted people find their own self-love identity — and become the secure, loving person they’ve always wanted to be.
Hi, I'm Tracy
I'm a certified life coach through The Life Coach School. I have a B.A. in Philosophy and an M.A. in Information Science. (I was originally going to be a librarian!)
I've worked extensively in bars & restaurants and consider it a major credential in navigating human relationships and practicing self-love.
I was born and raised in Hawaii and am currently living in nutty Hollywood, California with my adorable boyfriend of 13+ years, and approximately 6 plants.
I was once a huge self-love skeptic, but now I coach people on self-love so they can transform their relationships...and entire life.
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