If you had a strong identity of your own...
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You'd be loving without feeling desperate for your partner's love in return
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You'd feel more calm and in control of your emotions, even during conflict
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You won't waste your jealousy on little things, and it wouldn't eat you alive
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You'd fondly miss your partner without feeling empty and anxious
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You'd be more interesting, chill, and fun to be with
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You'd love from a place of love, and less fear, self-consciousness, and reliance
Your partner wouldn't determine who you are and how you feel about yourself.
You'd get to decide.
Your identity determines how you feel and act in your relationship
...and your entire life.
Yet nobody ever taught you to strengthen and prioritize your own identity.
In fact, you were subconsciously taught to base your identity on other people's happiness and approval.
So, with the best of intentions, you put your own identity aside and "found" yourself in being a good partner.
Which is one part of you, but not all of you.
No matter what it feels like right now, you do have an interesting, attractive identity within you, waiting to come out.
And the more you grow into your own identity the less emotionally reliant you'll feel towards your partner...and the world.
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