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Your bad habits aren't who you really are

When I was revolving my life around my partner and waiting to feel fulfilled by his love, I was very frustrated with myself.

I just had so many qualities that I didn’t like.

I would put off things that I knew were important.

I was easily made anxious, angry, or sad.

I was a mess. My house was a mess. My health was a mess. My mental state was a mess.

I kept saying that I was finally going to do certain things, and then I just couldn’t get myself to start.

And that was just the beginning of a whole list of bad habits.

How could I ever love and accept myself, when I found myself so unattracted to the way I was?

But then I realized: What if I’m this way, because I’ve spent so many years putting other people’s opinions and preferences over my own?

What if I’m like this — not because this is who I really am — but because I am not allowing myself to be who I really am?

This tied my mind and stomach in knots, but also made me feel very excited.

What if… this isn’t who I really am?

What if… all of these are just side-effects?

And what if all I had to do was to change the way I regarded myself....

To redirect my energy from him, to me.

To do the CRAZY thing — and start pursuing a life that made sense to me, rather than trying to be a copy of him.

Here’s what happened:

I began to do all the crazy things.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and prioritized doing things that interested me.

I told myself that my niche interests, my haphazard strengths, my quirky ways, my “irresponsible” dreams — were important, sexy, attractive, and NECESSARY.

I began living life in a way that benefited who I was, how I felt, who my soul really wanted me to be.

I stopped being in so much discomfort by always trying to tend to him, and I started willingly being in discomfort in the name of tending to myself.

And the more I honored my own soul — the more I was suddenly doing all the things I previously hopelessly struggled with.

I simply wasn’t as easily bothered by the things that would’ve set me off into an emotional rollercoaster in the past.

I felt pressed to take care of the important things, and it felt good to do so because it created a better experience for myself.

I saw that the way I cared for myself and my home directly affected how organized and clean I felt mentally.

And because I felt more aligned with my deeper purpose and self-expression of who I really was — good habits followed. Because I began regarding myself in a more respectful and conscious way.

The juicy cherry on top of all of this was: I felt so much more attracted to who I was.

I felt so much more like who I most wanted to be.

And I realized: these bad habits were never who I really was.

They were just symptoms of me denying my own importance and ignoring my soul.


If you need help feeling more attractive while being more of who you really are, join Identity Love Club -- where I provide all you need to get started and be fully supported

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